I am in the process of writing a book. It has been years of enthusiasm and excitement underscored with self-doubt and dread. I've lost my way, driving the characters rather than letting it be more organic. The main protagonist remains pivotal to the story, but not in the way I had initially thought it would manifest. The antagonist has now become an antihero as his character develops. In essence, he has become more interesting, a far more layered character driven by past terrors. He has become sympathetic, perhaps redemptive. As I write this, I am feeling hopeful again. I wrote some dialogue yesterday between two characters which has lit a spark. I believe it is family as protagonist as each member has their story and role. I am a linear writer, developing scenes in my head as I go along, making it as close to print ready as possible. This is how I would write "fanfiction" -- a chapter a week. The writing and plot wasn't perfect, but they were respectable for writing on the fly. I loved by the seat-of-your-pants storytelling. I need that drive again.
My plan of action is to rout out a space for myself to write. I need musical white noise, a good desk, comfortable seating, a good pen, notebook and a good computer/keyboard. I learned how to type on a typewriter: asdf (left) ;lkj (right). I can't do that on my ipad. It is all pointer finger action with the appearance of hunt and peck. I loathe typing like this.
Although, I tried to trick myself into believing I could be one of those many women DIYers with ETSY shops and the like, I have once again circled back to what really drives me. Writing--plain and simple. I wanted to be a writer similar to Lorrie Moore and I got lost on the way, delving in fanfiction and feedback. Having an audience is a double-edged sword, but I digress.
I am on my way. . .
