Friday, September 5, 2014

Suddenly September

This was an interesting summer this year between college visits and our summer vacation to the outer banks sans my son. He was offered a summer research opportunity studying Dark stars or something in that vein...studying the age of a star, I believe. He explains, I listen attentively, but suffice to say my astrophysics is subpar. Though I was excited for him, I also missed the family not being together as we usually are each and every summer. Things are changing, evolving, my children on that interesting cusp of becoming more and I love it and loathe it. My son is 21 this past August, my daughter will be 18 in February. It is all about GREs for my son and graduate school, and SATs and ACTs and common app for my daughter. It is exciting and stressful and I want them to be happy, to have joy, as well as, tremendous accomplishments, and peace. I am an older parent. I don't feel as such, but numbers can't be denied. My hope for the future is simple or simply to just be together as family. The idea of one day being a grandmother is surreal for a woman who still looks at life through youthful eyes, though a bit myopic and ringed a bit darker from day to day tribulations. My daughter spoke to me about her teacher telling the students they were in their prime, but soon their bodies will ache and their heads will be balding, and they will all get older. I laughed, but then had to smile when she turned to me and said, but you're not old like that are you? I try not to be, I replied. I get down often, I have had loss, I sometimes want to just hide away, but after telling my daughter my wish of being there for them for many more years and hoping for grandchildren, she again stunned me when she said you value life. So succinct, so simple. So true.
I wanted to share this quote: Faith is for that which lies on the other side of reason. Faith is what makes life bearable, with all its tragedies and ambiguities and sudden, startling joy. -- Madeline L'Engle

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